Crack the dating code with Sara Jane Ho’s new book, “Mind Your Manners”
How do we meet new people, set out to try new things, and create meaningful relationships in a world that’s only getting more complicated? Sara Jane Ho answers that question and more in her new book, “Mind Your Manners.”
Fresh off her hit Netflix show of the same name, Sara Jane’s book helps daters learn how to navigate the tricky world of dating etiquette without breaking too much of a sweat. And Sara Jane’s tips and tricks aren’t simply about etiquette — they’re about learning how to be your very best self.
Since we’re all about giving our daters the tools you need to thrive and find the serious relationship you’re looking for, we got a CMB-exclusive excerpt from the Dating & Relationships portion of her book! Keep reading to check it out and learn how you can order the full book for yourself.
“Mind Your Manners” out April 9
We know you’re serious-relationship material already, but everyone can use some extra help! So if you’re ready to unlock Sara Jane’s expertise on dating and relationship etiquette, be sure to order your copy using this link. “Mind Your Manners” releases on April 9, but you can learn a thing or two in the meantime thanks to this sneak peek 👇
DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS: DIGITAL ETIQUETTE
Texting Tips
An outdated rule of the past is don’t text first, don’t text last, and don’t text twice. But if you like someone, show initiative — life is too short to waste playing guessing games. Still, etiquette helps:
– Don’t ever just say “hi/ hey/ hello.” Follow it up with a purpose — like making plans, especially early on.
– No stream of consciousness texts. Keep them short, fun, and flirtatious. Avoid lengthy messages that provide more chances of being misunderstood — or boring. The same goes for ranting. In fact, if you are in a bad mood or feeling emotional, refrain from texting someone you want to date.
– Just as you would match someone’s conversational pace in person, match their response time. You are protecting yourself by not looking overeager. Spelling and grammar matter more than you think — now is not the time to type “how r u 2 day?” And use exclamation points and emojis sparingly.
– Don’t text excessively. Sending consecutive texts makes you look clingy and insecure. If the exchange descends into angry demands to know where the other person is and who they are with, it has crossed over into the land of controlling and even abusive behavior. Don’t do it. If you’re on the receiving end, dump them immediately.
– Don’t make big decisions over text, and never jump to conclusions about delayed replies. You don’t want to risk overreacting and looking like a psycho. Any initial follow-up should be presented in the spirit of caring, such as “I haven’t heard from you all day — are you okay?” When it comes to any issues that need nuance or finesse, know when to pick up the phone and call.
Social Media Boundaries
Have an honest conversation about your social media boundaries early in the relationship. Ask your partner what they do and don’t feel comfortable sharing, especially anything related to your relationship. And don’t snoop on their phone. Just as with eavesdropping, if you do find something, you won’t like what you find — and then you won’t be able to bring it up without admitting what you did. Double jeopardy!
It’s never too late to show off your new partner on social media. As with announcing a pregnancy, there’s no harm in waiting three months or so until the relationship is on solid footing, exclusive, or has official status. It will be embarrassing if you post too soon and then break up, though…
At the other end of the spectrum, it’s a very personal decision as to whether to follow your ex on social media or like their pictures. There’s usually a correlation between how much that ex means to you and whether or not you can follow them on social media. If you feel nothing when you see their posts with their new partner, then go for it.
